Weekend Reprieve - April 16-17


Growing up, I was obsessed with boxing. Now, not so much, but in the 80's and 90's, I couldn't get enough of it. I would buy seventeen magazines a week and read them cover-to-cover. OMG, ANDREW GOLOTA LIKES HAMBURGERS TOO. I would draw pencil portraits of boxers and show them off to classmates who had no fucking clue who Harry Greb was. I boxed for the Yonkers PAL, and I did so willingly, albeit poorly. I used to create my own rankings for every division, and stress for hours over where to rank losers like Oliver McCall, like I was fucking Jose Sulaiman or someone of equal corruptness. I would also write fantasy matches between Mike Tyson and Riddick Bowe and Lennox Lewis and other heavyweights (nerd alert) who I severely overrated. Obviously Tyson won each of these contests by viscous KO, because at that point Tyson was still in prison and I imagined him being released and killing everyone upon his return to the ring (FYI - didn't happen that way). My first America Online screen-name was "Battling38" named after Battling Siki. Don't know who that is? Well, most normal white suburban kids don't either, but like I said, I was a huge dork when it came to the sport.

Anyway, in my opinion, there is no other boxing movie that captures the essence of 'real' boxers like "Raging Bull" does. De Niro should have retired from acting right after he made this movie, because his portrayal of Jake LaMotta was flawless. Most boxers are not good guys. In fact, most of them are bad guys. Fuck "Rocky" - I love the movie, but that shit is fantasy. These guys are fucking insane. MMA is very tough, but imagine standing in a ring for 36 minutes getting punched in the fucking face. PAINFUL I tell you.

Anyway, watch this clip, and if you don't laugh and cringe at the same time, then you're a communist.

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