I Hate Your TV Show Suggestions
There are reasons why I watch what I watch on TV. My mind is warped and exceptionally biased. I can't help it, this is just the way it is. I sample, and I decide if I like something or not. I also do not promote my favorite shows to other people. Unless someone asks me, 'got any shows you may think that I might like?', I keep that shit to myself. And regardless of how much I enjoy "Parks and Recreation", not in a million years will I EVER force it upon you.
Contrary to my approach in this area are those people who take it upon themselves to promote a TV show like it was written, directed and produced by their fucking mom. And even when I explain that, yes, I have seen this show a dozen times already and don't really care for it, they still insist that I watch it again. This mentality drives me to drink more than I already do. I can't fucking stand when people look at me and say, "Hmm, you know what? What this guy needs is for me to recommend 'The Mentalist' again, because I think it's a great show, and even though I already know he doesn't like it, I'll suggest it again, because he may like it this time around."
No, I will not. I will not love your show. "The Mentalist" fucking sucks. But the only reason I'm relaying my opinion on "The Mentalist" is because you feel it necessary to push me to watch it. Did my coarse response hurt your feelings? Tough shit. I do not want to fucking listen to you sales pitch. I don't care. My lifestyle is sedentary enough, I don't need anyone to fill me in on what's been on the air for multiple seasons already. I read 7,000 different websites a day, and most of them hate the same shit that I do. THEY ALREADY TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT LIKE, SO YOU CAN STOP!
The only thing worse than people like this are those people who like to tell me that the shit I watch and enjoy is no good, mainly because it's without prompt.
Asshole: What are you guys talking about?
Asshole: LOST? That show fucking blows!
Oh it does? Holy shit, is that why I've been watching it? Thanks for letting me know, BECAUSE I ASKED FOR YOUR FUCKING OPINION!!
(takes out flamethrower)
(melts Asshole's face)
Normally, these people are also the same ones that, after telling you how bad your taste is, then try and push their favorite shows on you. And, as I mentioned earlier, it's never anything good. It's never something that I haven't heard of or seen yet, gone and checked out, and then ended up loving. It's always something that's lame, and is more mainstream than Michael-fucking-Jackson, like "24" or something.
Oh, what is this "24" you speak of? I've been trapped in a P.O.W. camp in Cambodia for the last fucking twelve years, being beaten with bamboo reeds and eating field mice, so please, please inform me about this show, because I've never heard of this show called "24."
To all of you out there who do this, I assure you, it's a very easy habit to ditch. I know that if I ever ask someone if they watch a certain show, and they tell me that they don't, I move on. It makes life so much more enjoyable. I get it, your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/cat/dog won't listen to any of your television suggestions. I GET IT. But what in the fuck makes you think that I will listen to you? What is it about me that makes you think that I'm taking ballots for new shit to watch on TV? Let me give you a hint: NOTHING. So stop. Now. Before I come over to your house and take a hammer to your LCD.